To ALL of the people that have ever hurt me, caused me ill fortune and gone out of their way to purposefully cause and inflict emotional and financial distress upon me. I thank you…
What you have taken from me was not only a career in entertainment – a chance so many dare to dream about but so few get to experience. You took away hopes and dreams of buying a house and settling down one day, of having the financial freedom of not having to live paycheck to paycheck as so many working Americans must do.
In short, you have robbed me of my career, what could have been an even better and long lived. Any hope or dream I had of buying a house in the country away from the hustle and bustle if the city where the house is filled with echoes of the pitter-patter of little feet and the melodic laughter of the dark haired beauty whom my heart beats eternally for. The smell of rain in the air wafting through the open windows, seeing my wife’s svelte silhouette between her flower summer dress and the setting sun as she gazes across the room at me with the twinkle in her. The twinkle that I put there.
Yeah we’re wouldn’t have been rich, because I never wanted that but we were able to save enough money for her to open her little shop doing what she loved and I was able to do the same for myself. You see I just wanted to help people, so I opened a general store and yeah it’s no Walmart or Home Depot but the prices are fair and if you can’t fix whatever is the bother – the owner (wink wink) will do it for free or maybe charge you the price of a good old fashioned home cooked meal.
You took from me the ability to trust people, even those closest to me that I should be able to trust. In taking away that ability to trust within me, you’ve robbed me of having the emotional freedom to trust someone enough to allow myself to love them; stunting any dreams I had of growing old with someone by my side…and any dreams of having a family, house with some land and maybe a pond in the backyard.
I’m sure you can’t begin to imagine the enormity and depth of the hurt you’ve caused me and yet even through out all of the deceit and vengefulness. I forgive you. However, it doesn’t help the hurt any -just thought you should know what you’ve taken from me and how your actions have cut me to the quick on every imaginable level.
The irony is as much as you tried to wound me, beat me down and hurt me, you’ve only made me stronger, nicer and a better person because out of all of the things you’ve done to me no matter how horrible they were, I can still find it in myself to forgive you and actually THANK you for being a part of my growth and journey. Your actions of cruelty have made me a better person that I can love and I can now see the beauty within everyone and every thing (and yes still find a way to trust fervently in the few I call friends). So you see, in the end… I still win
*and for those of you that have stuck by my side! I love you endlessly.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars”